I dont know can i still hold on?
i have enough of my life now.
all i do is pay this pay that.
until half year never go out with friend.
just work and work
in half year i only remember i go out 2 time? or 1 time that all.
no like other.
go out every month.
i feel like going back to past when i was sec 2-3
start at home
playing computer reading book and be alone.
i dun wish to go back.
but do i have the choice for it?
no.
what should i do?
anyway i want put the cbox on my blog but keep fail.
i guess i am useless.
now i keep remember about my past.
my father keep say i am stupid, hopeless and useless then my brother until he passed away.
now is my relative turn.
i keep hear this for 8 year
when can i get out from there?
REALLY WHEN CAN I GET OUT FROM THIS HELL.
Have alot of time i just wanted to jump down.
but i keep think who will take care of my mum and my brother.
only me give mummy money and pay for everything.
in my relative i am just a useless and bad girl.
in my friend heart i am just a bad friend
who keep reject them for not going out.
i keep reject them because i dun have enough cash to go out.
but now they hate me.
and one by one ignore me.
now i feel like a bad girl, i am a bad friend, i am a bad child to my family, my relative and my friend.
how i wish this admin "hell girl" is real so that i can just send myself to hell...

all i can say i dun want to be alive